Tickle Tueday….and other stuff!

It’s not Monday; and it’s not Humpday, so it must be Tickle Tuesday.  Tickle Tuesday is our attempt to lighten your load and make your day a little brighter.   How many of us love Maxine?  I know that I do.  I think this has been out for a while but it is still funny.

Meet Max…

Men’s Answer to Maxine

Yep, that made you smile!  Now here is a bit of news that might just make you laugh out loud.  Did you know that “July is National Cell Phone Courtesy Month”.  Who would have thought that you could put the words Cell Phone and Courtesy in the same sentence?  All over the Internet you can find lists of cell phone etiquette that we should observe during this month.

According to Jacqueline Whitmore, one of the nation’s foremost experts on etiquette and protocol, wireless phone users can take these steps to avoid offending others:

1. Be all there. When you’re in a meeting, performance, courtroom or other busy area, let calls go to voicemail to avoid a disruption. In some instances, turning your phone off may be the best solution.

2. Keep it private. Be aware of your surroundings and avoid discussing private or confidential information in public. You never know who may be in hearing range.

3. Keep your cool. Don’t display anger during a public call. Conversations that are likely to be emotional should be held where they will not embarrass or intrude on others.

4. Learn to vibe. Use your wireless phone’s silent or vibration settings in public places such as business meetings, religious services, schools, restaurants, theaters or sporting events so that you do not disrupt your surroundings.

5. Avoid “cell yell.” Remember to use your regular conversational tone when speaking on your wireless phone. People tend to speak more loudly than normal and often don’t recognize how distracting they can be to others.

6. Follow the rules. Some places, such as hospitals or airplanes, restrict or prohibit the use of mobile phones, so adhere to posted signs and instructions. Some jurisdictions may also restrict mobile phone use in public places.

7. Excuse yourself. If you are expecting a call that can’t be postponed, alert your companions ahead of time and excuse yourself when the call comes in; the people you are with should take precedence over calls you want to make or receive.

8. Send a message. Use Text Messaging to send and receive messages without saying a single word.

9. Watch and listen discreetly. New multimedia applications such as streaming video and music are great ways to stay informed and access the latest entertainment. However, adjust the volume based on your surroundings in much the same way that you would adjust your ringer volume. Earphones are a great way to avoid distracting others in public areas.

10. Alert silently. When using your phone’s walkie-talkie feature, send the person you’re trying to reach a Call Alert before starting to speak. If you’re around other people, turn off your phone’s external speaker and use the vibration setting to minimize any disturbance and to respect your contact’s privacy.

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So when you catch your breath from laughing I want you to think.  How many of these etiquette suggestions have you seen broken so far this month?  If you dare to “fess up”  how many have you broken yourself this month? 

I’ll tell on myself with #7, I usually don’t answer my phone when I am with a patient but I did take a call from another therapist that I could not get a hold of.  I did however excuse myself and explained that I have not been able to speak to this person and it was just a few seconds to try to arrange for us to talk later on that day….I still felt guilty.

#8 + teenagers + sitting down to eat at the dinner table = one pissed off mama!  I DO NOT approve of texting at the dinner table….sorry….I’m still not in the 21st century.

Desparate Housewives Say What?

I feel like I’m living on Wisteria Lane.  Seriously.  I think the neighbors were calling each other as the moving van pulled up.  Don’t get me wrong, my neighbors aren’t bad.  They are, hmmmm, inquisitive.  Yes, that’s it.  Each one has come over and asked questions and tried to peak around my shoulder to see what kind of stuff I have and what the yard looks like.  A bit nosey, yes; but they all seem to really care about their neighborhood.  They all told me that “we watch out for each other”; and “there is someone home in almost every house on the street at some time or other through out the day.”

My husband and I were invited to the neighbors across the street for dinner.  E made it sound as if it were a block party sort of thing.  No.  It was the “older” people on the block checking out the goods.  Sure as shit EVERYONE on the block knew that the new people on the block were having dinner with E and a few neighbors. 

Oh, the questions that were asked.  I think I may have even had a rectal exam.  I’m not sure.  Again, not that I minded because that’s what makes a hood a hood.  But I’m a bit private.  What?  Stop laughing. 

Kat and SuZan got to meet one set of neighbors.  Let’s just say that they were, um, interesting.  They were at dinner last night as well.  They brought brownies when they came to the house the night before.  Another couple at dinner asked how the brownies were.  Yup, people talk. 

Well, the kitchen is unpacked, the patio set up, the breakfast nook ready, the formal dining room and study are done.  The master bedroom is done.  That leaves the garage, game room and the kids bedrooms.  The kids are responsible for their rooms, but two of them need dressers.  Oh, that is a post in and of itself.  SuZan was on the receiving end of some frantic text messages.  The dresser still isn’t done.  I think I may have to pay big G to undue what we did (which isn’t good) then put it back together.  Yes, it was that bad!

All in all  we love the new house and we love the neighborhood.  Stay tuned, there may be pictures at some point.

Independence Day

 

 

 

Have a wonderful Independence Day and be safe!

Comcast Cable - What a Joke

Dear Comcast Cable:

You were supposed to show up and install internet and cable at our new home yesterday.  You didn’t show.  We called twice to check.  Never were we told that someone attempted to show but no one was home which is in fact untrue as three people (THAT’s 3 in case you can’t read) were home ALL DAY!!!!!!  (We had a water leak and had to wait for a service man.  We had no choice but to be home).  When no one showed we called and were assured that we were still on the list and scheduled for installation.  In fact, the second customer service rep I spoke with not only apologized, he said he’d give me a $20 credit on the account (No, I won’t hold my breath).

Now today.  Today we call and we were informed that we weren’t home?  I think not.  Not only did you lie, you told me that we’d just have to reschedule and the next available day is July 9th!  July 9th!   What a joke!  What kind of crack are you smokin?  But then, the joke is obviously on us.

Why?  Well because my husband’s source of income relies 98% on having reliable, high-speed interent.  You may have heard of him.  He is JK at JKontherun.  Yes, it’s a technical blog.  He also contract for “big oil company”.  We need our money honey.  BTW, Yes, he will slam you on his technical blog.  I will slam you on this little old mommy blog.  One more thing, he is a contributing columnist for the Houston Chronicle.  You’re lucky, he won’t slam you on the Chronicle because he said all that would do is make him more angry.  Me on the the other hand?  I don’t care about angry.  I hate you.  I really do.  If I could talk Mr. JK into using another service, I would.  I would switch in a NY second! 

I have no further words to waste on what is absolutely a losing battle.  I concede.  If I were a guy, you’d have me by the balls.  Heck, if it helps you feel better to have me admit defeat then I shall.  I’ll say it again….you win!  Now can you come out and install?  Really, momma needs to eat and that won’t happen if daddy can’t earn some money.  What does daddy need to earn that money?  INTERNET SERVICE!!!!!!!!!!!

That is all. 

 

The Good, The Bad, The Funny, and Comcast Cable

The Good:  We are in the new house.  We are unpacking.  I found the toaster, the knives, a frying pan and a cookie sheet.  No plates or silverware, but we’re getting there.  Only 8 more boxes of kitchen stuff left to unpack.  Oh, 8 boxes of kitchen stuff…..the a gajillion boxes of other stuff.

The Bad:  I can’t find my alarm clock…..or my tan sandals.  The sandals - no problem, I can always buy more.  The alarm clock…..ugh!  I do stupid things to get my butt out of bed.  Things like setting the clock 30 minutes ahead, hitting the snooze, and, my clock had a double alarm.  It worked.  How am I waking up now you ask?  Well, it goes something like this:

Me:  “Honey, did you set the alarm?”

Hubs:  “Yes”

Me:  “For What Time?”

Hubs: “The Usual”

Me:  “Are you Sure?”

Hubs:  “YES!!!”

The next morning……………………….

Alarm goes off on hubs side of the bed.

Hubs:  “Wake up.”  Snore, snore, snore, snore.

Me:  “OK, remind me in 10 minutes to get out of bed.”

Hubs:  “Snore, snore, snore”

Me:  “Snore, snore, snore”

Does anyone see the problem?  Yup, me too!

The Funny:  SuZan is home decorator extraordinaire.  Really.  She’s got an eye.  Me?  I’m home put stuff anywhere it lands. Not so good.  The funny part?  The master bedroom ROCKS!  Seriously.  It’s got a sitting room with a fireplace.  I’m considering buying a dorm fridge (you know, the one with the microwave on top).  I could go days……..days I tell ya without ever having to come out and face reality.  Anyway, my 15 year old G told SuZan and I “Mom, don’t do anything in your bedroom.  Let Miss SuZan do it.  That way it will look good!” 

LOL!  Those were my thoughts exactly!  So, Miss SuZan, whenever you’re ready!

Comcast Cable:  Fuckers.  They were supposed to be there yesterday between 8 am and 11 am.  When hubs called at 2:00 he was told we were still on the schedule and someone would be out.  When I called at 5:30, they apologized, gave me a $20 credit, said they’d expedite our order, and someone would be calling me in 30 minutes with an ETA.  Um, I’m still waiting!!!!!!!!!!!  When hubs called last night at midnight cause according to their website they have 24 hour customer service, he got a recording saying they were closed and their hours are 8-5 or some such bull shit. 

Is it just me or is this bad service?  Because really, I don’t care that they overbooked.  That’s not my problem.

 

Zeus’ First Play Date

It was an exciting weekend, well for Sheri, not so much for myself.  Saturday Zeus had his very first play-date.  Sheri’s Oreo came to visit while the mass move was taking place. It was quite interesting watching another pet thrown into the mix.

I guess they are now BFF’s

Zeus was quite interested upon Oreo’s arrival. Poor Oreo didn’t know what was going on except that there was this feline that kept hissing at him and stayed fuzzed practically the entire day. Zeus and Oreo soon discovered that they had a lot in common:

So they spent most of the time sniffing each others butts and various other parts. We did discover through all the preliminary growling, hissing, meowing etc., that Zeus is a wussy. Big G even admitted that Mercedes has more balls than Zeus (cannot believe he admitted that).

They romped and played and slept on the humans and a good time was had by all! Except for one:

Two Dogs? Are you kidding me??!!??
 

Stuff Portrait Friday…Our future!

Woo Hoo  TGIF!  Of course that means that it is time for Stuff Portrait Friday, brought to you by the lovely Kristine.  Today Mrs. Random & Odd is telling us that “Children are our Future” – so show her that quote in a picture.

Since I only have one of those curtain climbers this was easy…So here we go…….

As parents we start out full of hope for our children, and try to surround them with positive influences…

I have always loved the look of innocence and wonder in all children’s eyes. My own was no different.

You try to teach them to make good choices, to encourage them to explore and learn; and what do they do the moment they turn 18?

Jump out of a perfectly good air plane!

All in all, this kid has been a good one. I’m rather enjoying watching him grow up, and make plans. As his mom, I hope he is able to realize his hopes, dreams and wishes.

At times I want to thump him on his head, but most of the time I am honored to look at him and say I’m so glad you are our future!  (now if he could just get through college algebra).

 

so tell us…did you play?
 

Two Chicks and A Truck (Sometimes Three)

Now THAT title should spark some interest!

I’m moving.  What?  You didn’t know Oh, I’m SO moving.  I have two more days of sleeping is this hell hole.  Then I’m out.  Can.Not.Wait. 

What?  Oh, the title.  Yeah.  See, SuZan got hooked offered to help.  Man, I’m going to have to take her out for some Mexican (or steak) when this is all over.  Really.  She kicks ASS!  SuZan, my daughter and I have emptied a storage room, cleared an attic, and filled a storage room all in the matter of 3 days.  No kidding.  But after tonight, SuZan may not be so willing to help. 

See, we almost had to sleep in the storage unit tonight.  Why?  Well, we emptied the attic and filled up Big G’s truck (thank you Big G)  with Christmas decorations to take to storage.  Yes, my Christmas decorations fill up an entire storage unit sans two bikes, a breakfast table, buffet and hutch.  We’re so proud of what we accomplished tonight and figured we deserved a coffee break.  After our break we head to storage.  As we pull iin to the storage center we see a sign saying “Gate locks at 9:00″.  The problem?  It was 8:56.  I look at her, she looks at me.  I jump out of the truck and enter the code.  We zip around the corner to my unit.  I jump out, unlock the door, turn on the lights, then……….WE KICKED ASS AGAIN!  the entire truck unloaded, two doors relocked, in the truck and entering the code to exit the gate….in SIX minutes!  I’m not shitting you!  Six freakin minutes!  We SO rock!

Tickle Tuesday

It’s not Monday; and it’s not Humpday, so it must be Tickle Tuesday.  Tickle Tuesday is our attempt to lighten your load and make your day a little brighter. 

Four days and counting until the big move.  I’m some what ahead of the game, but I’m getting to that “I’m never going to get at this crap packed” feeling.  I had to make a list.  Shut it.  It worked.  Remember my ADD symptoms?  The list makes me accountable.  You should have seen Sunday’s schedule.  I’m pretty hard on myself.  I had it scheduled to the minute.  Couldn’t sit down or I’d be behind for the rest of the day (SuZan would be proud).  Anyway, because I’m sure you don’t want to hear a bunch of pissing and moaning, I’ll give you something fun!  Enjoy!

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Adult Humor

(How’d they get my picture) 

(Honey - don’t get any ideas!)

(I could so see this happening in a frat house)

(This explains A LOT)

And finally………………….

 

 

 

R.I.P.

George Denis Patrick Carlin

1937 - 2008

Comedian George Carlin died of heart failure at a Los Angeles-area hospital on Sunday. He was one of my favorite comedians.  His routines on ‘pets’ and ’seven dirty words’ were my favorites.  He will be missed.